20AUG09 What's up?

What's up all? Sorry I have been away from the computer for a while I have been very busy. Real life does that sometimes. So much has happened to me recently that I don't even know where to begin. It's all very overwhelming to be honest.

I have been receiving very good advice from a close friend, and it is really helping me. I have met an amazing person, so different from the types of people I have associated with in the past and quite refreshing. She has really assisted me in getting over and past some things and I owe her kindness and thoughtfulness allot.

I have been getting ready for the PhD program I mentioned in a very early post, getting my old Grad school papers together.. looking over old research papers to get back into the research/school mindset. I have also started looking at getting an international / domestic teaching certificate.. just to be able to teach at a university overseas or back in the states once I retire.

Unfortunately that's about all I have time for right now. I have so much work to do, and I have to learn a whole new city.. the ins and outs of the metro, taxis, where the best places to eat are, best places to shop, etc. All very exciting stuff, but very taxing on the body. Once I settle down I will add some more pictures and write a little more. Later.

14AUG09.. Demotovation and Military humor

Good afternoon all, I was just on a lunch break when a friend of mine sent me some pretty funny pictures. I work in a tight community that has its own sense of humor.. so the majority of people might not get the humor.. but, I thought, what the hell.. I find them pretty funny, so why not share them.



Sadly.. this is what a large percentage of the American military are turning into.. G.I. Fat...


Do I have to explain? It's just wrong.



Man's best friend.. and a pretty good spotter.



RPG-7, even though the ammunition is fitted with a timed impact fuse (for defeating armor)... do you really want to test the reliability an abused African weapon system?



Very good parenting skills.. don't ya think?



Multi-million dollar weapons and targeting equipment.. and its used for spotting chicks.. priceless.

I have so many more.. but I don't know if they are fit for public consumption.. We get them, but I fear many people would get offended. I guess that brings me to a different topic. Having a sense of humor. I think it is one of the most important things to have, when you stop laughing, and start taking your self to serious.. it just gets old, tired and boring. So the take away from this lesson??? Don't take your self so seriously, laugh more, and open your mind to other types of humor. You might like it?

13AUG09 Computer Burning!

Hi all, I was thinking about some things today, and I received some advice yesterday that as it turns out was very helpful for me. Then I did a little research online and found the below advice / instructions.. It has helped me allot and hopefully it can help you as well.

"Are you sometimes trapped in a corridor by your own mind? Do you find you have a tendency to replay a hurtful conversation over and over in your head? Are there things you can’t stop thinking about such as bills, a failed relationship, a fight at work or a slight from a family member?
Time to get unstuck; to stop obsessing."

"I’m sure all of us at one time or another feel overwhelmed by something that won’t go away. Perhaps a friend said something damaging in the presence of another and we can’t stop reliving the event, either in our head, or for a another friend who will listen. The inability to stop these feelings borders on obsession."

"There are ways to curb your fixation. Sometimes by trying to deny what is a particularly nagging problem, we actually do the reverse and have a tendency to help keep it fueled. Instead, experts suggest we set aside some time—like an hour’s ride in the car or the time it takes for a tub bath—to devote to thinking out the problem in its entirety."

"I would like to submit a different take on this solution: the journal. Spend some time writing. Write a letter about the problem. Express your deepest feelings and spill out your sharpest emotions and then—burn it in a small ceremony. By turning your spent feelings into ash, the problem will seem to have less weight (chemically, for sure.) Don’t balk at this notion of writing and burning. Occasionally the strangest rituals can have especially good effect."

I guess that is what my old posts were (I am Daniel and Punishment).. a journal of the negative stuff that has happened and what I was feeling.. and by deleting it (the computer version of burning) it accomplished the same thing. All the negative, anger fueled rants were what I was feeling and by writing it down then deleting it.. it helped me overcome the issue.

Yesterday I also cleared my life of all the things that "trigger" these feelings in me. I deleted, shredded, and threw away everything I had (and that I could find) of all past relationships, and bad events that reminded me of negative things in my past. It was difficult, but all emails, photos, letters, notes, presents, etc were destroyed, or thrown away.. I have to tell you it was very cathartic and I am a better person for it. The question was asked of me.. Why keep all that stuff? If it effects you in a negative way.. why keep it? So yesterday it all went out the proverbial window.

Wow.. I really don't know what to say after that.. it feels quite profound.. to read that, and realize it is getting better. Admittedly, its a hard road, but it is inproving.

12AUG09 Funny

Hi all, Was just on a lunch break feeling a little down and re-watched some funny stuff to get a pick me up. I hope you guys have seen this before, but if not.. it is well worth taking a few to watch. It is very clever and original.. its from the lonely planet and skits from SNL.. I can't even tell you how funny it is. It makes me laugh so f'in hard. You can check it out on YouTube, or hulu, or at SaturdayNightLive.com, or where ever else you find it. I would link it, however I'm not that computer literate yet, and not sure about copyright stuff. :)

1. I'm On A Boat (ft. T-Pain) - Album Version
2. jizzed in my pants - SNL
3. Saturday Night Live - Dick In A Box
4. Natalie Portman Rap - Saturday Night Live
5. Lazy Sunday (REAL VIDEO)
6. Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions
7. Will Ferrell Patio Lovers, Dissing Your Dog,
8. Like A Boss (ft. Seth Rogen) - Uncensored Version
9. Space Olympics

There are several more, but you get the idea. This stuff always makes me laugh!

12AUG09 Good Morning!

Good morning all. Sorry I did not write yesterday.. but I wanted to sit back and relax, and more importantly self reflect on some things that have happened in my past. When looking at the scope and breath of one's life.. even if you feel like you have not accomplished much.. you really have. From school, to jobs, to relationships.. You have been a part of a lot of lives, even if you don't think so. Me personally.. well I have been through quite allot in my time. And looking back, I could have been a better person.. But I guess we all could be better people... even with little effort.

Example, helping someone with the groceries, or even stopping when you know someone needs help. Just little things like that will improve your life. Even saying you are sorry to the people you love, or have wronged in life will go a very long way. I'm not talking about going all "My name is Earl" on them.. but simple small actions can make the world of difference.

My thing seems to be helping animals.. I know, I know... it seems lame.. but it really makes me feel good to do good for animals. I guess its kind of a protector thing.. like they cant protect themselves, so I try to do my best. I guess that is why I have gravitated to the career I have now.. to help people. Somewhere deep down I feel like I can help and protect, and it feels good.

I guess my advice for today is, overlook the hurts in life and try to be a better person, however you can. Yes, it is difficult to do sometimes, but speaking for myself.. it makes you feel so much better to let go of anger and just be..

10AUG09.. Later in the day..

Hi all, Just wanted to get down some stuff I just learned about. It's all about the people you have come into contact with over the span of your life. Relationships, friends, family, etc. You need to take the good and bad parts of all the people that make up your history and learn and grow from those experiences.

I will admit, it is very difficult for someone who likes to have control (Type A), but in the end it makes you a much more vibrant and interesting person. No good can come from being negative and vengeful.. all that does is bring down you as a person and it does not help anything. Expressing your feelings is a healthy and good thing to do.. and it is encouraged.. it helps clear your mind and get you back on track. Try not to be too harsh though, revisionist history does no good.

You might want this or that, but what you can't control will NOT kill you.. use it to better yourself and grow. Move past the past and onto the future. Take the good parts of people you have met and use them as examples the better your self, and use the bad parts to grow from. I guess what I'm trying to say is that after a set back or a bad experience it is normal to have ups and downs, get angry, get sad.. its all very normal. But as I am learning.. I admit very slowly... it's easier said than done. To assist... a strong family core, good friends, or a counselor specializing in your particular area all all good options to seek out for help.

All the trivial shit in your life seems pointless when you are confronted with a very sick family member. It really opens your eyes to the realities of life sometimes.

I am still learning and growing as a person and at times it's difficult.. but the pay off of living a healthy and productive life, being there for your family and accomplishing great things at work.. well it's all worth it.

Now.. if doing the work to get to that place was easy.. ;)

10AUG09 Learning

Well I figured it was about time to move on, change and grow as a person. Gone are the angry rants and self deprecation. So the post formerly known as "punishment" from blogger "I am Daniel" has been deleted and removed from my profile. No more negative or angry rants about my life. Let the healing process begin.. Now..onto bigger and better things!

I have had a very long talks with friends and family and had a great amount of time to focus on myself. Self reflection if you will. I have realized that I need to change and grow. First and for most I will now have to provide medical coverage for my father, which will be very expensive.. but thank god I have a very good job. So that has re-focused me to do the right types of things, read more, maybe talk to someone about my self?... and definitely spend as much time with my father as possible.

I guess I have learned to let go of the past and the things I can't control. It has been very difficult and painful at times, but when relationships end.. I guess we all go through these things. Its a normal period of pain, and growth. To look at your actions and at your self as a man. I have done allot of bad things to people in my life and that is now over. My family is now first.

So if you are still following my page.. you will see some differences, it will all be lighter and funny.. Thanks for reading and keep the comments coming!.